Anxiety is something that is rarely discussed. It's taboo. If you're in a state of anxiety it means you can't cope, surely? No. That's wrong. Anxiety is not weakness, it's terrifying and debilitating but it's manageable. I mean if you've a broken arm, or sore throat then that's ok to ring in sick to work. But if your mind is feeling imbalanced, or negative thoughts are clouding it - well, you'd feel judged calling in sick so you deal with it. It needs to be better understood.
You have to choose to embrace your struggle. But it does not have to stop you doing what you want to do. I know this for a fact. Panic makes you feel like your body and mind are failing you. As dramatic as it sounds you feel like you might die.
I've managed my anxiety to the point of others having little or no awareness, but there does come a point when you will have to acknowledge and accept help - when it becomes bigger, or just when you finally need to put it to sleep. It may not sleep for good but it can be muffled. It can make you low. I've been at the point where leaving the house can become a task, become difficult. You don't want to leave your room or the sheets that cover your skin.
In time it'll make you the strongest of people. Be hopeful, panic can be managed; it can be dealt with. Talking therapies, cognitive behavioural therapy, practicing mindfulness. Find thoughts and activities that bring you comfort and try and replay these when your mind fixates on an anxiety and you feel the panic rise. Practice relaxation techniques and do not give rise to the negative feelings. I read somewhere once inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 2 seconds and exhale for 6 seconds, this is my mantra for calming myself when everything begins to race, and mostly it works if the panic isn't too set in. For me, getting air helps too. Live in the moment, and try to understand your relationship with control. Accept help...
Anxiety and panic attacks are different for everyone, and stem from an array of reasons, traumas, worries and overthinking. It took me a long time to know it isn't selfish, it isn't self absorbed and it isn't silly. You didn't ask for this and you didn't bring it on yourself. It just happened. Below is my account of how it feels to panic, a bit.
The panic attack.
Panic and anxiety haunts you and strips you of independence. It stalks your mind. It's like a ghost you've created that lives inside of you. It's the pieces of every trauma you've lived and not lived. There's riddles in the pages of your concentration and you spin. Your head spins, full circle. Your eyes glaze and you're lost. There's a fuzzy feeling that sweeps across you and you can't comprehend anything: you can only concentrate on how this is making you feel. Your heart pounds, there is a heaviness of heart, it feels like it could burst through your ribs. Your bones sigh like they are hollow, and your ribs ache from the racing heart they try to tame. Your heart is a wild heart. Your lungs feel like lead, they can't breathe deep enough and the air makes them suffocate. It's like you've had the wind knocked out of you by a single blow from your own clouded thoughts. You're clammy and hot, you're out of control. Taking off your coat although your body is shivering this anxiety radiates a discomforting heat that prickles over your skin. Your body is overwhelmed by heaviness, and weight, the weight of all this craziness spinning and whirling inside you, churning your insides. You shake, your body feels shaky like you need to lie down but your mind is saying leave. And you're battling between staying and going. Anxiety is a a gush of feelings that drain from your mind to your chest where they burst and flutter into a million little pieces and shards of craziness and sharp thoughts that cut and then float down to your stomach creating a nausea that makes your entire body sigh, their settling makes your entire body weak. You feel like you're going to fall, softly though. You need to breathe, breathe fresh air. And, all the while you're talking to yourself. Trying to bring your mind back into balance. Because, as much as these feelings of panic instil terror into your very soul, you know that this too shall pass.
There is something about being in this state that air can dispel. The fresh air can calm you and soothe the anxiety away. It's sharp on your skin and it fills your lungs with air that is breathable. You breathe and there is a safety in this air. It seems to chase these ghosts away, it blusters over you and wraps around your body like its fixing your broken pieces back together. It eases your mind, calms your thoughts. The racing stops. The nausea ceases.
Panic over, until the next time.
-Loola.
You have to choose to embrace your struggle. But it does not have to stop you doing what you want to do. I know this for a fact. Panic makes you feel like your body and mind are failing you. As dramatic as it sounds you feel like you might die.
I've managed my anxiety to the point of others having little or no awareness, but there does come a point when you will have to acknowledge and accept help - when it becomes bigger, or just when you finally need to put it to sleep. It may not sleep for good but it can be muffled. It can make you low. I've been at the point where leaving the house can become a task, become difficult. You don't want to leave your room or the sheets that cover your skin.
In time it'll make you the strongest of people. Be hopeful, panic can be managed; it can be dealt with. Talking therapies, cognitive behavioural therapy, practicing mindfulness. Find thoughts and activities that bring you comfort and try and replay these when your mind fixates on an anxiety and you feel the panic rise. Practice relaxation techniques and do not give rise to the negative feelings. I read somewhere once inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 2 seconds and exhale for 6 seconds, this is my mantra for calming myself when everything begins to race, and mostly it works if the panic isn't too set in. For me, getting air helps too. Live in the moment, and try to understand your relationship with control. Accept help...
Anxiety and panic attacks are different for everyone, and stem from an array of reasons, traumas, worries and overthinking. It took me a long time to know it isn't selfish, it isn't self absorbed and it isn't silly. You didn't ask for this and you didn't bring it on yourself. It just happened. Below is my account of how it feels to panic, a bit.
The panic attack.
Panic and anxiety haunts you and strips you of independence. It stalks your mind. It's like a ghost you've created that lives inside of you. It's the pieces of every trauma you've lived and not lived. There's riddles in the pages of your concentration and you spin. Your head spins, full circle. Your eyes glaze and you're lost. There's a fuzzy feeling that sweeps across you and you can't comprehend anything: you can only concentrate on how this is making you feel. Your heart pounds, there is a heaviness of heart, it feels like it could burst through your ribs. Your bones sigh like they are hollow, and your ribs ache from the racing heart they try to tame. Your heart is a wild heart. Your lungs feel like lead, they can't breathe deep enough and the air makes them suffocate. It's like you've had the wind knocked out of you by a single blow from your own clouded thoughts. You're clammy and hot, you're out of control. Taking off your coat although your body is shivering this anxiety radiates a discomforting heat that prickles over your skin. Your body is overwhelmed by heaviness, and weight, the weight of all this craziness spinning and whirling inside you, churning your insides. You shake, your body feels shaky like you need to lie down but your mind is saying leave. And you're battling between staying and going. Anxiety is a a gush of feelings that drain from your mind to your chest where they burst and flutter into a million little pieces and shards of craziness and sharp thoughts that cut and then float down to your stomach creating a nausea that makes your entire body sigh, their settling makes your entire body weak. You feel like you're going to fall, softly though. You need to breathe, breathe fresh air. And, all the while you're talking to yourself. Trying to bring your mind back into balance. Because, as much as these feelings of panic instil terror into your very soul, you know that this too shall pass.
There is something about being in this state that air can dispel. The fresh air can calm you and soothe the anxiety away. It's sharp on your skin and it fills your lungs with air that is breathable. You breathe and there is a safety in this air. It seems to chase these ghosts away, it blusters over you and wraps around your body like its fixing your broken pieces back together. It eases your mind, calms your thoughts. The racing stops. The nausea ceases.
Panic over, until the next time.
-Loola.