Second year is drawing nearer, In fact it's two weeks near. The thought of going back makes my chest tight, my lungs feel as though they are filled with lead, and my heart heavy. It's a web of feelings that brush over me and then race through me - like that sinking feeling which when it reaches your stomach from your mind gushes and disperses into a million tiny fluttering pieces that create this nausea making your body sigh.
I'm sure anyone reading this will wonder what the hell I'm doing going back, I don't sound ready. But I am, this is separate and I want to be a nurse more than I've wanted anything in a long time. And that longing is enough alone.
Anyway,
"heaviness of heart never means a lack of strength, it's presence of care"
- Tyler Knott.
Maybe I have a better ability to care than I first thought...
Second year is surgical year. First year was medical year, and it flew by faster than imaginable. I learnt so much, and I am fearful this wealth of knowledge I was gifted with by staff I met won't be retained. But then I reflect back to a nurses comparisons of the heart and it's cells to a Mexican wave, and the body as a spirit level when removing a central line and suddenly I'm recalling more and more. It was instances like that when I learnt and absorbed information, when it was broken down and explained, and if your teacher happens to have passion then that's even better. It has been a good 10 years since I sat in a science lesson and I'm sure at 16 years old when I was supposed to be learning about the cardiovascular system I was much more interested in boys.
I was lucky that my first year placement had a strong emphasis on cardiac illnesses and the cardiac system to be able to develop my understanding and start making connections between practice and underpinning theories, and I was lucky that patients and practitioners I met wanted their knowledge and experience to contribute to my education. I can only be hopeful those I meet during my second year will equate this. I briefly touched on theatres in my first year. It was an enhancing experience and I met some simply amazing surgeons and scrub nurses who were undeniably skilful with such a vast knowledge , but I recognise now why many people state scrub nurses are different breed of nurse. It is an environment comparable to no other in the hospital, and although I managed to find a sense of belonging up there within only a week I felt a million miles away from where I should be. Educationally it was invaluable, I learnt an array of facts about anatomy and physiology and about conditions, but I found myself wanting to be with the patient in the anaesthetic room, and I found myself tracing the outline of them on the operating table, almost memorising their faces and wondering how their voice sounded - I needed to know the patient in my care. People look so different when they are sleeping, and I wanted to be able to learn about this person before they were in such a vulnerable position.
I'm placed on a surgical ward for the most part of my second year. I'm hopeful my mentors will be as supportive and encouraging as previous. I'm hoping they will present me with a gift of knowledge that will shape me into a nurse ready for third year. I hope they will engage me in situations.
Every mentor I was placed with for the duration of my first year was inspiring and I connected with them all on a level that allowed me to learn and take the most from every environment. I have developed the upmost respect for all my mentors throughout the entirety of the year. I found myself observing my mentors, how they care, how they communicate and how they manage themselves, in the hope I can take away some of their positive, admirable characteristics and apply them to my own practice.
- Loola
I'm sure anyone reading this will wonder what the hell I'm doing going back, I don't sound ready. But I am, this is separate and I want to be a nurse more than I've wanted anything in a long time. And that longing is enough alone.
Anyway,
"heaviness of heart never means a lack of strength, it's presence of care"
- Tyler Knott.
Maybe I have a better ability to care than I first thought...
Second year is surgical year. First year was medical year, and it flew by faster than imaginable. I learnt so much, and I am fearful this wealth of knowledge I was gifted with by staff I met won't be retained. But then I reflect back to a nurses comparisons of the heart and it's cells to a Mexican wave, and the body as a spirit level when removing a central line and suddenly I'm recalling more and more. It was instances like that when I learnt and absorbed information, when it was broken down and explained, and if your teacher happens to have passion then that's even better. It has been a good 10 years since I sat in a science lesson and I'm sure at 16 years old when I was supposed to be learning about the cardiovascular system I was much more interested in boys.
I was lucky that my first year placement had a strong emphasis on cardiac illnesses and the cardiac system to be able to develop my understanding and start making connections between practice and underpinning theories, and I was lucky that patients and practitioners I met wanted their knowledge and experience to contribute to my education. I can only be hopeful those I meet during my second year will equate this. I briefly touched on theatres in my first year. It was an enhancing experience and I met some simply amazing surgeons and scrub nurses who were undeniably skilful with such a vast knowledge , but I recognise now why many people state scrub nurses are different breed of nurse. It is an environment comparable to no other in the hospital, and although I managed to find a sense of belonging up there within only a week I felt a million miles away from where I should be. Educationally it was invaluable, I learnt an array of facts about anatomy and physiology and about conditions, but I found myself wanting to be with the patient in the anaesthetic room, and I found myself tracing the outline of them on the operating table, almost memorising their faces and wondering how their voice sounded - I needed to know the patient in my care. People look so different when they are sleeping, and I wanted to be able to learn about this person before they were in such a vulnerable position.
I'm placed on a surgical ward for the most part of my second year. I'm hopeful my mentors will be as supportive and encouraging as previous. I'm hoping they will present me with a gift of knowledge that will shape me into a nurse ready for third year. I hope they will engage me in situations.
Every mentor I was placed with for the duration of my first year was inspiring and I connected with them all on a level that allowed me to learn and take the most from every environment. I have developed the upmost respect for all my mentors throughout the entirety of the year. I found myself observing my mentors, how they care, how they communicate and how they manage themselves, in the hope I can take away some of their positive, admirable characteristics and apply them to my own practice.
- Loola